Gay Radiant Girls
by Roxius
Summary: A bunch of short tales on the dysfunctional gay romances of the Radiant Dawn girls. All SHOUJOAI With Some Crack thrown in. Pairings: MicaiahXIlyanaXMia, HeatherXNephenee,etc. Please R & R!


"YOU FUCKIN' RETARD! SHE BELONGS TO ME!"

"W-WHAT? LOOK WHO'S TALKING, BITCH! SHE LOVES ME!"

"I'M THE ONE RIGHT FOR YOU AND YOU KNOW IT!"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP RIGHT NOW!"

"NO! YOU SHUT UP!"

Ike really felt like crying at the moment. Ever since the Greil Mercenaries and the Dawn Brigade teamed up, Micaiah and Mia had done nothing but fight over who deserves to be Ilyana's lover more. Yeah, that's right: In a strage twist of fate, all three of them turned out to be gay (Micaiah's actually Bi, though)!

"SUPER HAPPINESS FLYING KICK OF DEATH WITH A SWORD SLASH!!!"

"MAGIC GIRL POWER: DESTRUCTION OF THE APOSTLE! EAT IT OR BEAT IT, BITCH!"

'What the hell kind of techniques are those?' Ike wondered as he watched Micaiah and Mia break out into fierce battle. Nearby, a rather depressed Sothe was watching the entire scene.

"I was really hoping it was all a joke when I found out Micaiah had feelings for Ilyana..." Sothe mumbled sadly as he walked up and stood next to Ike, who was too busy watching the unfolding battle to notice.

"You really should try heroin if you're feeling THAT upset..." remarked Soren, who had popped out of nowhere. "Why not?" Sothe replied, "I have nothing else to do now that Micaiah won't fuck me anymore..."

Reaching into his pocket, Soren pulled out a small red-colored packet and placed it in Sothe's hands before running off.

"DON'T TELL ANYONE I GAVE YOU THAT!" Soren called as the sounds of police sirens filled the air. A large anime-styled sweatdrop rolled down the side of Sothe's face as he nervously stuffed the packet into his pants.

* * *

After the whole commotion with Soren and Sothe getting arrested for possessing drugs was over, Ike decided to speak to Elincia about the problematic love traingle of Micaiah, Mia and Ilyana. Unfortunately, Ike forgot to knock before entering the Queen's tent. 

Elicina and Lucia were sitting on bed together, locked in a deep and passionate kiss. Ike just stood there and blinked for a few seconds before turning around and exiting the tent without a word. For the rest of the day, he seemed to have had a passive look on his face, Soren noticed.

* * *

Heather once again cursed herself for having no poetic sense whatsoever. She tried over and over, but there was no way she could write a beautiful, heart-wrenching love letter for her dear sweet Nephenee! 

"Ugh...what am I gonna do? I wanna tell Nephenee I love her, but in the most romantic way possible..." Heather slammed her head down on her small writing desk and began to mutter to herself. Suddenly, a voice said, "Why don't you just give up on all this romantic crap and go tell her you love her?"

Looking up from her desk, Heather saw Ulki standing over her with a comforting smile on his lips. "I'm sure Nephenee will return your feelings. As far as I've heard from Brom, she hasn't shown much interest in men..."

With a smile, Heather thanked Ulki and ran off to find Nephenee. Ulki let out a small sigh and thought, 'I just hope that crazy girl goes easy on poor, little Nephenee-chan...'

* * *

"Mmm...mmm...oh, Jill...you taste so good..." 

"Look who's talking, Lethe-chan...Spread your legs apart a bit more so I can reach down there..."

"Ohh...Oh...God...Jill...Do me...ohh..."

"Don't worry, baby...I will..."

"Ahh..."

* * *

'What's a woman got to do to get some peace and quiet around here?' Tanith thought angrily as she stomped out into the forest a little ways off from the campsite. Tanith had gotten tired of being near her so-called allies after Makalov, Gatrie and Kurthnaga all flirted with her at the same time. Too bad for them she was a lesbian, and an open one at that. 

"I really wish men would stop trying to get in bed with me. There's only one person I love, and that's-" Suddenly, the sound of splashing nearby interrupted Tanith's thoughts. Deciding to check it out, Tanith found a small lake hidden within the dense forest. A lone figure seemed to be bathing.

Tanith's face flushed deep red when she realized that it was Sigrun, her entire womanly body completely naked. Tanith moved behind a tree and quietly watched as Sigrun continued to bathe herself. 'Oh god, why does she have to be so unbearably hot?' Tanith thought nervously as her legs became weak.

'I want her so badly...I can barely keep myself from calling out her name when I'm in bed with Sanaki...' Tanith thought sadly as she continued to watch her one and true crush in the darkness...

* * *

Vika let out a soft moan as Micaiah nibbled gently into her neck. Nearby, Ilyana and Mia both watched this sight with looks of both joy and uneasiness in their eyes. "It's nice that she finally found someone, so I can have you all to myself..." Mia purred into Ilyana's ear.

Ilyana nodded and replied, "Yes, I am very...happy for her..." Suddenly, a sharp pain blasted through Ilyana's entire body. "Ahh...I need something...to fill my stomach...it hurts..." moaned the weak pale mage with visible effort.

A dirty smirk formed on Mia's lips as she quietly said, "Don't worry, honey. I'll fill you up all you want in bed tonight...heh heh heh..."


End file.
